#424: The Best Articles of 2023

🏆 Thank you, loyal readers, for another great year at Article Club

It’s that time of year again. Let’s reveal the best articles of the past year, shall we? But before the unveiling, a couple quick things:

  1. Thank you for a great year. Together we discussed 10 phenomenal articles, interviewed 10 outstanding authors, and published 50 issues that included more than 150 great pieces on race, education, and culture. Plus we rebranded and came out with our own Enneagram.

  2. Our reading community is strong. We added 300 new loyal readers and 20 new paid subscribers. More than 100 people joined our monthly discussions, facilitated by generous fellow Article Clubbers. We gathered at HHH, read the NYT at the Lake, and held quiet reading hours. And loyal reader Melinda joined us as podcast co-host and Chat leader (see below).

One more time: Thank you for your readership.

OK, are you ready for this year’s winners? (And: Can you predict them?)

Here we go. The selection process was rigorous. After scanning all ~150 pieces, I chose 12 semifinalists, reread them all, and then narrowed the list down to the best of the best. They’re outstanding and in no particular order. I hope you enjoy (re)reading them. If you’re moved, I’d love to hear which one is your favorite. All you need to do is click the button below.

Leave a comment

A happy break and holiday to you. See you in the New Year! I’m taking two weeks off, back Jan. 4.

Update: Article Club Chat

💬 Let’s chat: Hi Article Club! Melinda here! You may have seen that I’ve been hosting a discussion of the new personal essay series by writer and podcaster Ann Friedman over in the Substack Chat. This is an opportunity to connect with fellow Article Clubbers in a flexible way to discuss this series where Ann shares her current unexpected journey from child-free person to new parent. We’ll be taking a short break for the end-of-the-year holidays, but we’ll be back in the New Year on Monday January 8th at Noon Eastern to continue our discussion of this profound essay series. If you’ve been curious about the Article Club community, this is an easy and flexible way to check it out — it’s basically like a fun group chat with a bunch of thoughtful folks reading exceptional writing. And if you’re a long time Article Clubber looking to connect with folks in the community in between the monthly discussions, this is a great way to connect and share! You can read more here about why I was inspired to start this new chat feature, plus listen to my mini-podcast episode and get all the details on how to join! Have a safe and lovely holiday season, and I can’t wait to see you in the New Year!

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1️⃣ The Sunset

Young people are scared of old people, which is to say all people are scared of old people, which is to say all people are scared of death.

Because we’re scared of death, our society doesn’t care about old people, unless they’re our grandparents. So when Lisa Bubert chooses to work as an aide in a Texas nursing home as a 19-year-old college student, making $7.25 an hour, her friends are confused. Even before COVID, the annual turnover rate was 60 percent – not surprising, given the understaffing and underfunding. Despite the horrendous working conditions, Ms. Bubert finds purpose and meaning in her work. It helps to think of her Granny K when connecting with residents who feel isolated and lonely. She recognizes that death is a vulnerable act: “There is no act of love greater than to sit with someone as they face their deepest moment of vulnerability.”

By Lisa Bubert • Longreads • 13 min

Read the article

2️⃣ The Instagram Account that Shattered a High School

This article was our summer blockbuster, telling the story of a racist social media account and its repercussions on young people and their community in the Bay Area. The piece also raises the question: What does it mean to be held accountable for harm that takes place behind a screen?

Ms. Slater writes:

The questions that the account raised — about fighting bigotry, about the impacts of social media and about the best way to respond when young people in your community fail so utterly to live up to the values you thought you shared — had no simple answer. Whatever you believed about Albany, about America, about teenagers, racism, sexism, social media, punishment and the public discourse on each of these topics, the story of the Instagram account could be marshaled as evidence. It was the incident that explained everything and yet also the incident that couldn’t be explained.

I instantly connected with the article, not only because I’m an educator in the Bay Area, but also because of Ms. Slater’s riveting prose. Her reporting is spot on; she does an excellent job eliciting the perspectives of the boy who created the account, his friends who laughed and egged him on, the girls who he harmed, the school administrators who had no clue, and the parents who called for blood. I especially appreciated the care and nuance Ms. Slater brought to this piece.

The article also exposes the limitations of our current notions of justice and accountability. We know old-school punishment doesn’t work. It doesn’t heal. It doesn’t teach. But it’s comfortable. It makes us feel we’ve done something to address the harm. But in this piece, Ms. Slater reminds us that the harm is still there, for everyone involved, including the perpetrator.

By Dashka Slater • The New York Times Magazine • 47 mins

Our interview with Dashka Slater

Read the article

Watson, who belongs to loyal reader Maria, is a nature dog who loves to explore the world and then snuggle the day away. Want your pet to appear here? hltr.co/pets

3️⃣ The Fog: Living With Adoption’s Emotional Aftermath

Originally published in The New Yorker in April, the extraordinary piece profiles three adoptees who have come out of “the fog,” or the denial of the trauma of being adopted. Not all adoptees have mixed or negative emotions, but many do.

They seek their birth parents but are lied to; they can’t obtain their original birth certificates; they’re told they should be happy they’re adopted when their feelings are complicated; they find the adoption system corrupt; they feel like they’re living a double life, estranged from the person they really are.

By focusing on the lives of Deanna, Joy, and Angela, the article also discusses the history and problems of three categories of adoption: invisible (or closed) adoptions, transracial adoptions, and international adoptions.

Author Larissa MacFarquhar writes:

“Coming out of the fog” means different things to different adoptees. It can mean realizing that the obscure, intermittent unhappiness or bewilderment you have felt since childhood is not a personality trait but something shared by others who are adopted. It can mean realizing that you were a good, hardworking child partly out of a need to prove that your parents were right to choose you, or a sense that it was your job to make your parents happy, or a fear that if you weren’t good your parents would give you away, like the first ones did. It can mean coming to feel that not knowing anything about the people whose bodies made yours is strange and disturbing. It can mean seeing that you and your parents were brought together not only by choice or Providence but by a vast, powerful, opaque system with its own history and purposes. Those who have come out of the fog say that doing so is not just disorienting but painful, and many think back longingly to the time before they had such thoughts.

Some adoptees dislike the idea of the fog, because it suggests that an adoptee who doesn’t feel the way that out-of-the-fog adoptees do must be deluded. And it’s true; many out-of-the-fog adoptees do believe that. They point out that a person can feel fine about their adoption for most of their life and then some event—pregnancy, the death of a parent—will reveal to them that they were not fine at all. But there are many others who reject this—who aren’t interested in searching for their birth parents, and think about their adoption only rarely in the course of their life.

I loved this article for many reasons. One was how much I learned. Though I have many friends who are adoptees and adoptive parents, and though I have tried to understand their experiences, I’ve remained fairly ignorant of the pain that some of them have suffered. Another reason was Ms. MacFarquhar’s compelling prose. The piece is long, but I was riveted from beginning to end because the author holds Deanna, Joy, and Angela with compassion and tells their stories directly. There’s no fluff. Every sentence is about honoring their lives and experiences.

By Larissa MacFarquhar • The New Yorker • 71 mins

Our interview with Larissa MacFarquhar

Read the article

4️⃣ Wider Than The Sky

“The human brain,” Phyllis Beckman writes, “weighs approximately three pounds, resembles nothing so much as a shelled walnut, and is the texture, one neurosurgeon tells us, of soft tofu.” Yet our brains hold our memories, they direct our activities, they tell us when when to eat and sleep, they help us dream.

The love we experience in our lives, as well as the pain and sorrow, comes not from our hearts, Ms. Beckman reminds us, but rather from our brains.

This exquisitely written piece, a moving braided essay, explores the meaning of consciousness, the question of free will, and the mystery of chance.

One moment, Ms. Beckman and her husband, the love of her life, are enjoying a summer meal together — beef kabobs on the grill, yellow bell peppers, cherry tomatoes. The next moment, she notices something off. She says to her husband, “Your left pupil is dilated.”

By Phyllis Beckman • True Story • 31 min

Read the article

Thank you for reading this week’s issue. Hope you liked it. 😀

To our 5 new subscribers — including Amanda, Camino, Ellis, Myriam, and Coco — I hope you find the newsletter a solid addition to your email inbox. To our long-time subscribers (Nick! Nicholas! Nico!), you’re pretty great, too. Loyal reader Mindy, thank you for sharing the newsletter and getting the word out.

If you like Article Club, please help it grow. I really appreciate your support. Here are two ways you can help out:

❤️ Become a paid subscriber, like Bernie (thank you). If you’ve subscribed for free for some time, and you appreciate the articles and interviews, or if you’ve joined one or more discussions, I encourage you to take the leap. You’ll join an esteemed group of readers who value the mission of Article Club. Plus you’ll receive surprise perks and prizes from time to time. It’s $5 a month or $36 a year.

Also: If locking in a subscription feels like too much of a commitment right now, you can buy me a coffee ☕️ (thanks Beth!) to share your gratitude.

📬 Invite your friends to subscribe. Know someone who’s kind, thoughtful, and loves to read? I’d love it if you encouraged them to subscribe. Word of mouth is by far the best way to strengthen our reading community. Thank you for spreading the word.

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On the other hand, if you no longer want to receive this newsletter, please feel free to unsubscribe. See you on Thursday, January 4, at 9:10 am PT.

#423: Things I Didn’t Know About

3 great articles that widened my perspective and grew my empathy

Hi there, loyal readers, and welcome, new subscribers. Thank you for being here.

We’re coming up on the ninth year of this newsletter. It’s an honor, week after week, to put in front of you what I think are the best articles on race, education, and culture. Along the way, I get to learn a ton. Even if the topic of an article is something I know a little bit about — let’s say teaching — I go in curious and find a morsel of newness. But sometimes, like this week, I’m blown away with how little I know. Doing this newsletter puts me in contact with new experiences and new perspectives that grow my empathy. I hope this week’s articles might do the same for you. They’re about:

Depending on your interest and time, I’d love it if you read one (or three) of these pieces and then shared your thoughts about them in the comments. Please enjoy!

Leave a comment

Coming up at Article Club

💬 Let’s chat: Hello Article Club! Melinda here! Our new Substack Chat feature is well underway, but it isn’t too late to join the party! In this Substack Chat, fellow Article Clubbers are discussing the new personal essay series by writer and podcaster, Ann Friedman, where she’s sharing with us her unexpected journey from child-free person to new parent. Ann will be publishing a new essay each Friday for a total of 10 weeks, and the fourth in the series comes out tomorrow! On Monday, December 11th at Noon Eastern, I’ll pop into the chat to get the discussion going! Whether you’re completely new to Article Club and you’re curious to see what the community is like, or you’re a long-time Article Clubber looking to connect with the community more consistently while reading shorter essays — this Substack chat party is for you! You can check out more details here, listen to my mini-podcast episode, and see next steps to join! Hope to see you in the chat!

1️⃣ Women’s Land

In southern Oregon, in between Grants Pass and Roseburg, there’s a 100-mile stretch where in the 1970s, groups of lesbian women, who called themselves landdykes, built intentional communities in order to fight against the heterosexism of second-wave feminism and to live free from the male gaze.

In this well-written article, Bethany Kaylor travels to Fly Away Home during the fall Equinox to spend time with the women who live there. They’re mostly in their 70s and 80s now. They explain how they came to the land, how liberating it was, how they shed their birth names and governed by consensus.

But they also acknowledge that lesbian collectives are no longer as popular as they used to be. Younger women find them too white. There’s no wi-fi. There’s concern that the lands promote a sense of manifest destiny. Worst of all is a charge that the communities are transphobic.

But there’s something that keeps Ms. Kaylor going back, that makes her friends ask her why she’s obsessed with these lands. There are many reasons, she writes:

Time is different on women’s land. Decades stretch and fold into each other: the trees grow higher, the women older, their gardens wilder. Years are measured by lovers and breakups, the bounty of harvests, the slow construction of yurts and cabins, children and grandchildren.

By Bethany Kaylor • Sunday Long Read • 21 min

Read the article

Our beloved Sid turns 14 soon. To celebrate, he chooses to go on hikes in the Oakland redwoods with his favorite human, Abby, who is also one of my favorite humans. Want your pet to appear here? hltr.co/pets

2️⃣ I Gave Birth at 45

“Giving birth at 45 is rolling the dice,” writes Grace Glassman in this fast-paced, frightening first-person account of her birth. After all, Dr. Glassman makes sure to mention, if you’re a woman, and you’re 35 years or older, you’ve reached “advanced maternal age,” with a much higher chance of dying during childbirth. It doesn’t help that the United States has the highest maternal mortality rate among developed countries.

What begins as a routine C-section slowly changes after Dr. Glassman’s nurse notices the bleeding. Then comes a blood pressure reading of 63/17. Then come the blood transfusions, then pressors, then disseminated intravascular coagulation, then finally hemorrhagic shock.

“In medicine,” Dr. Glassman writes, “it can be hard to recognize the instant when a patient has crossed the line from stable to unstable, or from unstable to gracing death’s door, because there are no clear lines.”

By Grace Glassman • Slate • 20 mins

Read the article

3️⃣ The Kiss

One afternoon in October 1958 in Monroe, North Carolina, three children were playing a kissing game. One was Sissy Sutton, a 7-year-old white girl. The other two were James Hanover Thompson, a 9-year-old Black boy; and his friend David Fuzzy Simpson, an 8-year-old Black boy. Sissy kissed David on the cheek. Then she kissed James. Then the children headed home.

You may not want to read what happened next. Certainly the point of Article Club is not to (re)traumatize you. But this is an important story I didn’t know about, despite my college history degree and my many years of teaching U.S. History. Given that we have states banning the teaching of full and truthful representations of our nation’s past, I do recommend this piece, especially to social studies teachers.

By Sara Rimer • Equal Justice Initiative • 9 mins

Read the article & watch the film

Thank you for reading this week’s issue. Hope you liked it. 😀

To our 9 new subscribers — including Mercedes, Anne, Zack, Liv, Maggie, Vinson, and Ly — I hope you find the newsletter a solid addition to your email inbox. To our long-time subscribers (Marcia! Marsha! Marshall!), you’re pretty great, too. Loyal reader Norah, thank you for sharing the newsletter and getting the word out.

If you like Article Club, please help it grow. I really appreciate your support. Here are two ways you can help out:

❤️ Become a paid subscriber, like Anne (thank you). If you’ve subscribed for free for some time, and you appreciate the articles and interviews, or if you’ve joined one or more discussions, I encourage you to take the leap. You’ll join an esteemed group of readers who value the mission of Article Club. Plus you’ll receive surprise perks and prizes from time to time. It’s $5 a month or $36 a year.

📬 Invite your friends to subscribe. Know someone who’s kind, thoughtful, and loves to read? I’d love it if you encouraged them to subscribe. Word of mouth is by far the best way to strengthen our reading community. Thank you for spreading the word.

Share Article Club

On the other hand, if you no longer want to receive this newsletter, please feel free to unsubscribe. See you next Thursday at 9:10 am PT.

#422: Wider Than The Sky

3 great articles, plus 3 great opportunities to connect with other thoughtful readers

Hi there, loyal readers, and welcome, new subscribers. As we head into December, there’s a lot going on here at Article Club (see below!), so let’s get right to it.

There’s no obvious theme connecting this week’s three articles. But each of the pieces is well written (of course) and falls squarely on the Solemn-to-Silly Continuum. If you want serious first, start up at the top, then scroll down. If you want silly first, start from the bottom, then scroll up. The articles will explore:

Usually I save one article for a special recommendation. But this time, you can’t go wrong with any of the three pieces. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Leave a comment

Coming up at Article Club

💬 Let’s chat! Hello Article Club, Melinda here! A gentle reminder to check out the newest free feature at Article Club — an opportunity to chat with fellow Article Clubbers as we read the newest essay series from writer and co-host of the Call Your Girlfriend podcast, Ann Friedman, as she shares with us her unexpected journey from child-free person to parenthood. We’ll be popping into the Substack chat each Monday at Noon eastern to share our reflections on this 10-week essay series. Whether you’re completely new to Article Club and you’re curious to see what the community is like, or you’re a long-time Article Clubber looking to connect with the community more consistently while reading shorter essays — this Substack chat party is for you! You can check out more details here, listen to my mini-podcast episode, and see next steps to join! Hope to see you in the chat!

💬 Let’s discuss! This Sunday at 2 pm PT, we’ll be discussing “The Fog,” by Larissa MacFarquhar. There’s one spot left. You can sign up here.

💬 Let’s meet up! Our signature gathering HHH is back tonight (and sold out) at Room 389 in Oakland beginning at 5:30 pm. I’m looking forward to seeing you there.

1️⃣ Wider Than The Sky

“The human brain,” Phyllis Beckman writes, “weighs approximately three pounds, resembles nothing so much as a shelled walnut, and is the texture, one neurosurgeon tells us, of soft tofu.” Yet our brains hold our memories, they direct our activities, they tell us when when to eat and sleep, they help us dream.

The love we experience in our lives, as well as the pain and sorrow, comes not from our hearts, Ms. Beckman reminds us, but rather from our brains.

This exquisitely written piece, a moving braided essay, explores the meaning of consciousness, the question of free will, and the mystery of chance.

One moment, Ms. Beckman and her husband, the love of her life, are enjoying a summer meal together — beef kabobs on the grill, yellow bell peppers, cherry tomatoes. The next moment, she notices something off. She says to her husband, “Your left pupil is dilated.”

By Phyllis Beckman • True Story • 31 min

Read the article

One great thing about publishing this newsletter for 8+ years is that you collect a lot of powerful quotations from brilliant people. Here’s Nikole Hannah-Jones in an interview I shared back in 2017.

2️⃣ The Fall of My Teen-Age Self

I’m ashamed to say that I’ve read exactly zero books that Zadie Smith has written. So that’s why I was excited to read this article, a memoir of her tumultuous time as a teenager. If this is typical writing for Ms. Smith, I’m sold. She captures the angst of being a teenager, the big feelings, and the dichotomous either-or thinking. After recounting a harrowing event that leads to “a teen-age epiphany,” Ms. Smith, now a mother of a teenager, wonders if “teen-age misery is different from what it used to be.” I won’t spoil her answer, except to say that I appreciated its nuance.

By Zadie Smith • The New Yorker • 13 mins

Read the article

3️⃣ Nom Nom Nom: Cookie Monster’s Cookies

Here are a few reasons why I’m including this delightful exposé about Cookie Monster’s cookies, what their ingredients are, who makes them, and how they’re made: (1) It’s possible to say that I like cookies more than Cookie Monster, (2) It makes me sad when Cookie Monster has to wait for his cookies to bake, (3) It gives me an opportunity to thank Article Clubber Lisa for the delicious cookies she sent me yesterday. There are a ton of fun facts in this short piece, plus plenty of questions to debate. For example: Which secret ingredient is most surprising? Extra credit: Make a batch and tell me about it!

By Sopan Deb • The New York Times • 5 mins

Read the article

Thank you for reading this week’s issue. Hope you liked it. 😀

To our 6 new subscribers — including Paige, Jay, Alexander, Claudia, Amine, and Brittany — I hope you find the newsletter a solid addition to your email inbox. To our long-time subscribers (Lance! Lars! Linus!), you’re pretty great, too. Loyal reader Maureen, thank you for sharing the newsletter and getting the word out.

If you like Article Club, please help it grow. I really appreciate your support. Here are two ways you can help out:

❤️ Become a paid subscriber, like Tsoniki (thank you). If you’ve subscribed for free for some time, and you appreciate the articles and interviews, or if you’ve joined one or more discussions, I encourage you to take the leap. You’ll join an esteemed group of readers who value the mission of Article Club. Plus you’ll receive surprise perks and prizes. It’s $5 a month or $36 a year.

Also: If locking in a subscription feels like too much of a commitment right now, you can buy me a coffee ☕️ to share your gratitude.

📬 Invite your friends to subscribe. Know someone who’s kind, thoughtful, and loves to read? I’d love it if you encouraged them to subscribe. Word of mouth is by far the best way to strengthen our reading community. Thank you for spreading the word.

Share Article Club

On the other hand, if you no longer want to receive this newsletter, please feel free to unsubscribe. See you next Thursday at 9:10 am PT.

What gets in the way of our reading?

And: Do we want to do something about it?

Happy Thanksgiving, VIPs. Thank you for supporting me and The Highlighter Article Club with your loyal readership and hard-earned cash.

To express my gratitude, I recorded a quick audio letter to share some thoughts I’ve been having lately about reading. For example:

  • how many of us aspire to read more

  • how there are many obstacles to reading (especially online reading)

  • how maybe we should do something about it?

Do you agree with me — that you’d like to read more, but that things get in the way? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Tell me more! Leave a comment or vote in this poll. What gets in the way of your reading?

(poll conducted on substack)

Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts. I’m thinking of a few ways we can support each other and our reading goals in the New Year. Stay tuned.

Hope you have a great week, and thank you again!

We won’t let Elon Musk mess with us

VIP audio letter: An invitation, question, and small announcement

Thank you VIPs for supporting me and The Highlighter Article Club with your loyal readership and hard-earned cash. This month’s audio letter from me to you is about Elon Musk, how he’s trying to mess with our reading community, and how we won’t let him. We will win! Also I have an invitation and question for you, too. It’d be great to hear from you. Thank you again and have a great week ahead.

Sign up for our discussion on Nov. 20

#421: Searching For Home

Three great articles on finding the places and people that feel familiar

Happy Thanksgiving, loyal readers, and welcome, new subscribers. I’m happy you’re here and grateful that you’ve allowed me a weekly spot in your inbox.

This week’s articles focus on the theme of searching for home. In typical Article Club fashion, I’ve selected a few outstanding articles that explore a range of perspectives from a variety of publications. (For instance: Have you heard of The Delacorte Review or Rest of World?) I hope at least one piece resonates with you.

You’ll meet a queer Black woman who travels the globe to find a place she feels she belongs. You’ll meet a straight white man who has given up on dating and prefers spending time with his partner, a straight Asian man. And you’ll meet two Korean American adoptees who always thought they were alone until they found each other on Facebook. Please enjoy!

⭐️ Coming up at Article Club

  • HHH #21, Nov. 30. HHH is a great way to hang out with fellow kind and thoughtful readers in person. We’ll be at Room 389 in Oakland beginning at 5:30 pm. You can get your free ticket here.

  • This month’s discussion, Dec. 3. This month, we’ll be diving into “The Fog,” by Larissa MacFarquhar. It might be one of my favorite articles of the year. There are a few slots left. You can sign up for free here.

1️⃣ A Black Woman’s Search For Her Place in White, White Vermont

As a queer Black woman, Sheena Daree Romero has never felt at home. After growing up in suburban Ohio, where white classmates tolerated her and white neighbors ignored her, Ms. Romero wanted to escape, very far away. She chose Germany, where she spent a year as an exchange student. It was better than the United States, but certainly no dream. Several moves in her twenties brought her around the world — Japan, Spain, Australia, Norway, Finland, England, Portugal, Chicago, Albuquerque, New York, Tajikistan, and ultimately Vermont — on a quest to belong and feel safe. This personal essay tells the story of Ms. Romero’s time in Vermont, where she vows to spend 1,000 days. Her first snowstorm is disconcerting. She writes:

I glared out of the window, amazed, but mostly frustrated, that a place that was already so white in so many ways, could become even whiter. But if I could survive the tundra, I thought, I could survive anything.

Yearning to tough it out, wanting desperately to call a place home, Ms. Romero makes it halfway to her goal. Then she gets hit crossing the street, in a crosswalk, by a truck whose driver who doesn’t see her.

By Sheena Daree Romero • The Delacorte Review • 30 min

Read the article

This week’s theme got me re-reading Matthew Desmond’s first book, Evicted. I highly recommend it. Prof. Desmond joined Article Club earlier this year to talk about his latest book, Poverty by America. Here’s the interview.

2️⃣ Family Membership

This week I met up with a friend I’ve known since preschool. On my drive home, I got to thinking about how rare and special this is. After all, he’s not my sibling, but he might as well be. Then I read this endearing piece about Christopher and Tan, whose friendship is so tight that fellow shoppers at Costco assume they’re married. Christopher used to worry how they came across. Now he lets people assume what they want. He writes:

Tan is not the partner I ever pictured myself spending so much of my life with (and he would say the same). But we do not choose the people who end up mattering the most to us. In this life, if we’re very lucky we get two families: There is the family we’re born into. And then there is the family we find.

As Kathryn Schulz reminded us last year in this interview, let’s not take for granted the loved ones we’ve found in our lives. After all, “it is finding that is astonishing,” she writes.

By Christopher Solomon • Esquire • 9 mins

Read the article

3️⃣ Korean adoptees felt isolated and alone for decades. Then Facebook brought them together.

Since 1953, more than 200,000 Korean children have been adopted abroad. More than two-thirds were sent to the United States. The idea was that the children were orphans (mostly not true), the American parents were saviors, and assimilation was the goal. The reality, of course, is very different. Torn from family and home, many Korean American adoptees have felt lost and out of place. This article follows two women, both 36 years old, who experienced trauma for decades before finding each other on the Korean American Adoptees group on Facebook. Discovering that they were not alone was affirming. There was “instant acceptance, a validation of their lived experiences.” But the complicated feelings persisted, especially when they decided to return to Korea to search for their birth mothers and visit the adoption agencies that gave them away.

By Ann Babe • Rest of World • 23 mins

Read the article

Thank you for reading this week’s issue. Hope you liked it. 😀

To our 23 new subscribers — including Grace, Aileen, Ellen, Mike, Josh, Suzanne, Erik, Kimberly, Alvin, Melinda, Jeremy, Lindsey, Emma, Tami, Kathryn, Ady, Ellen, Jo, Sophie, Iris, Isabela, Dean, and Sarah — I hope you find the newsletter a solid addition to your email inbox. To our long-time subscribers (Karen! Kati! Katherine!), you’re pretty great, too. Loyal reader Neil, thank you for sharing the newsletter and getting the word out.

If you like Article Club, please help it grow. I really appreciate your support. Here are two ways you can help out:

❤️ Become a paid subscriber, like Suzanne and Tami (thank you). If you’ve subscribed for free for some time, and you appreciate the articles and interviews, or if you’ve joined one or more discussions, I encourage you to take the leap. You’ll join an esteemed group of readers who value the mission of Article Club. Plus you’ll receive surprise perks and prizes. It’s $5 a month or $36 a year.

Also: If locking in a subscription feels like too much of a commitment right now, you can buy me a coffee ☕️ to share your gratitude.

📬 Invite your friends to subscribe. Know someone who’s kind, thoughtful, and loves to read? I’d love it if you encouraged them to subscribe. Word of mouth is by far the best way to strengthen our reading community. Thank you for spreading the word.

Share Article Club

On the other hand, if you no longer want to receive this newsletter, please feel free to unsubscribe. See you next Thursday at 9:10 am PT.

#420: “You find out about your life in bits and pieces.”

An interview with Larissa MacFarquhar, author of “The Fog: Living in Adoption’s Emotional Aftermath”

Welcome, new subscribers, and welcome back, loyal readers! I’m happy you’re here.

⭐️ Before we get started: If you live near Oakland, join me and fellow Article Clubbers at an in-person gathering on Thursday, Nov. 30, at Room 389, beginning at 5:30 pm. It’s a great way to connect with other thoughtful readers and chat about the articles. It’d be wonderful to see you. Here’s more info and where you can get your free ticket.

Today’s issue is dedicated to an interview with Larissa MacFarquhar, the author of “The Fog: Living in Adoption’s Emotional Aftermath,” November’s article of the month.

Originally published in The New Yorker in April, the piece profiles three adoptees who have come out of “the fog,” or the denial of the trauma of being adopted. Not all adoptees have mixed or negative emotions, but many do.

They seek their birth parents but are lied to; they can’t obtain their original birth certificates; they’re told they should be happy they’re adopted when their feelings are complicated; they find the adoption system corrupt; they feel like they’re living a double life, estranged from the person they really are.

By focusing on the lives of Deanna, Joy, and Angela, the article also discusses the history and problems of three categories of adoption: invisible (or closed) adoptions, transracial adoptions, and international adoptions.

If you haven’t read it yet, I urge you to do so — and to join our discussion on December 3, if you’re moved.

Join our discussion

I got a chance to interview Ms. MacFarquhar last Friday, and it was an honor. I won’t give everything away, because it’s better to listen, but we discussed a number of topics, including:

  • how Ms. MacFarquhar became interested in adoption after exploring the problems of the foster care system

  • how being adopted is a profoundly different way of being human than growing up with one’s biological family

  • how many adoptees feel they’re not real, that their stories are scrambled, that their identities are disorientating, and that they learn about themselves bit by bit

  • how although adoption is sometimes the best outcome for a child, our society should be more supportive of birth parents who love and want to keep their kids

Most of all, it became abundantly clear in our conversation that Ms. MacFarquhar is a thoughtful reporter and writer. Her approach to profiling is exquisite; she tells her subjects’ stories directly and with compassion. And no matter your background knowledge on adoption, and no matter your lived experience, this is an article that is worth your time and attention.

Thank you for listening to this week’s episode. Hope you liked it. 😀

To our 3 new subscribers — including Jennifer and Bernice — I hope you find the newsletter a solid addition to your email inbox. To our long-time subscribers (Hunter! Hudson! Hakeem!), you’re pretty great, too. Loyal reader Naya, thank you for sharing the newsletter and getting the word out.

If you like Article Club, please help it grow. I really appreciate your support. Here are two ways you can help out:

❤️ Become a paid subscriber, like Christopher (thank you). If you’ve subscribed for free for a long time, and you appreciate the articles and author interviews, or if you’ve joined one or more discussions, I encourage you to take the leap. You’ll join an esteemed group of readers who value the mission of Article Club. Plus you’ll receive surprise perks and prizes. It’s $5 a month or $36 a year.

📬 Invite your friends to subscribe. Know someone who’s kind, thoughtful, and loves to read? I’d love it if you encouraged them to subscribe. Word of mouth is by far the best way to strengthen our reading community. Thank you for spreading the word.

Share Article Club

On the other hand, if you no longer want to receive this newsletter, please feel free to unsubscribe. See you next Thursday at 9:10 am PT.

#419: The Rise of Homeschooling

Plus: Listen to Melinda and me introduce “The Fog,“ November’s article of the month

Welcome, new subscribers, and welcome back, loyal readers! I’m happy you’re here.

This week, let’s read and talk about homeschooling. I’ve been in education for 25-plus years, so I’ve seen trends come and go. But homeschooling is definitely here to stay, whether we like it or not. (I don’t think I like it, but I’ll keep my views out of this.)

In typical Article Club fashion, I’ve chosen pieces that explore the topic of homeschooling from several vantage points. Here they are:

I hope that this week’s articles resonate with you. If they do, I encourage you to share your thoughts and feelings in the comments. Don’t worry: We don’t need to have a hot debate about the pros and cons of homeschooling. Remember the point of Article Club is to learn, take on ideas, connect, and expand our empathy.

Leave a comment

⭐️ Join us for this month’s discussion of “The Fog: Living in Adoption’s Emotional Aftermath,” Sunday, December 3. We’ll meet from 2:00 to 3:30 pm on Zoom. It’d be great to have you.

Originally published in The New Yorker in April, the piece profiles three adoptees who have come out of “the fog,” or the denial of the trauma of being adopted. Not all adoptees have mixed or negative emotions, but many do.

It’s a deep, important piece, especially if you’re an adoptee or an adoptive parent. I also recommend this article if you’re unfamiliar with issues relating to adoption and if you’re interested in building your empathy.

On the fence? Listen to fellow Article Clubber Melinda and I chat about the piece in this podcast episode. Don’t worry, there aren’t major spoilers, plus Melinda is great. Besides, listening might spur you to sign up for the discussion.

All right, have we convinced you? If so, it’s time to sign up! I’m looking forward to seeing you there. (Also, feel free to ask me questions about how it works.)

Sign up for the discussion

1️⃣ Tune In, Drop Out, Homeschool

You simply can’t go wrong reading an article by Lauren Markham. She’s one of my favorite Article Club writers of all time. Her writing is funny and incisive. She understands education through and through. She’s able to capture people’s silliness and seriousness at the same time. And always, she asks the big questions — like, What is school really for? — as she does in this brilliant piece.

Why is homeschooling booming right now? Let me count the ways, she writes:

Because, like Pauline, they are guided by Christ and want to integrate the gospel into their lessons. Because, like Trisha believes, children shouldn’t be at desks all day, and they learn best when their interests guide the curriculum rather than the other way around. Because schools are racist. Because schools require vaccinations. Because they are afraid their children will get COVID. Because schools are increasingly banning books. Because schools are teaching books that parents find inappropriate or offensive. Because of school shootings. Because schools teach stuff that is wildly irrelevant for the future in a world that is vastly remaking itself before our eyes. Because schools are failing, as evidenced by crap test scores and national teacher shortages. Because schools aren’t challenging students enough. Because of bullying. Because schools have a “trans agenda.” Because schools are pawns of the educational-industrial complex. Because schools are pawns of the woke agenda. Because schools are hostile to trans children. Because schools don’t serve neurodiverse children well. Because of the school-to-prison pipeline. Because school is about more than memorization. Because childhood is something to be honored and preserved. Because there’s only a short period of time to spend with our children, and why send them away all day? Because, because, because.

I hope you read this article. And if you do, I’d love to hear what you think. Feel free to leave a comment or email me directly.

By Lauren Markham • The Believer • 37 min

Read the article

2️⃣ The Rise of Homeschooling

Do you ever find yourself in a conversation about an important topic and nobody seems to know any of the basic facts? I don’t know about you, but I’m not a big fan of this dynamic. That’s why I’m including this informative explainer about homeschooling, which clearly makes the case that homeschooling’s rise is robust even after the pandemic. For example: Since the 2017-18 school year, homeschooling is up 78 percent in California and 103 percent in New York. Florida leads the charge, of course, but I was surprised: Homeschooling is everywhere. Want to know how things are looking in your own school district? Check out the article’s interactive feature and find out.

By Peter Jamison and team • The Washington Post • 10 mins

Read the article

Lauren Markham is no stranger to Article Club. Her “The Crow Whisperer” was featured in 2021, and her “Our School” was my favorite article of 2017.

Lauren Markham is no stranger to Article Club. Her “The Crow Whisperer” was featured in 2021, and her “Our School” was my favorite article of 2017.

3️⃣ Resisting White-Washed History In Schools

Once seen as the domain of white, conservative families, homeschooling has become a more popular option for Black parents and their children. They’re fed up with white teachers not believing in their kids. They’re tired of schools that don’t have basic resources. They’re frustrated about the whitewashing of their history classes. More and more Black parents are saying, “Enough is enough.”

Journalist Katie Reilly writes:

For Shari Rohan, it was a social-studies lesson that described enslaved people receiving “on-the-job training.” For Zanetta Lamar, it was the fact that her son was the only Black student in his grade. For Andrea Thomas, it was realizing just how little she had learned about Black history while attending both public and private schools. “I did not want my children to have that same experience.”

By Katie Reilly • Time Magazine • 13 mins

Read the article

4️⃣ Why Liberal Parents Are Opting for Homeschooling

They never thought they’d take their kids out of school. That’s for white conservative evangelical anti-vaxxers, they assumed. But then Florida passed the Parental Rights in Education Act, often described as the “Don’t Say Gay” bill. Then they found out their kids’ teachers could no longer teach about slavery, or else their children would feel uncomfortable. The final straw was learning that their trans son could not longer use the boys’ bathroom. For these liberal white parents, they know that homeschooling is seen as giving up or selling out — so much so, they don’t want to tell their friends, out of shame. But they just can’t stomach school anymore.

By Charley Locke • Businessweek • 11 mins

Read the article

Thank you for reading this week’s issue. Hope you liked it. 😀

To our 7 new subscribers — Steven, Fatemeh, and Ana — I hope you find the newsletter a solid addition to your email inbox. To our long-time subscribers (James! Jim! Jimmy!), you’re pretty great, too. Loyal reader Marla, thank you for sharing the newsletter and getting the word out.

If you like Article Club, please help it grow. I really appreciate your support. Here are two ways you can help out:

❤️ Become a paid subscriber, like Betty (thank you). If you’ve subscribed for free for a long time, and you appreciate the articles and author interviews, or if you’ve joined one or more discussions, I encourage you to take the leap. You’ll join an esteemed group of readers who value the mission of Article Club. Plus you’ll receive surprise perks and prizes. It’s $5 a month or $36 a year.

📬 Invite your friends to subscribe. Know someone who’s kind, thoughtful, and loves to read? I’d love it if you encouraged them to subscribe. Word of mouth is by far the best way to strengthen our reading community. Thank you for spreading the word.

Share Article Club

On the other hand, if you no longer want to receive this newsletter, please feel free to unsubscribe. See you next Thursday at 9:10 am PT.

#418: The Fog of Adoption

Join us this month to discuss Larissa MacFarquhar’s outstanding article on adoption

Happy November, loyal readers. I’m excited to announce that this month, we’ll be reading and discussing “The Fog: Living in Adoption’s Emotional Aftermath,” by Larissa MacFarquhar.

It’s a deep, important piece, especially if you’re an adoptee or an adoptive parent. I also recommend this article if you’re unfamiliar with issues relating to adoption and if you’re interested in building your empathy.

Originally published in The New Yorker in April, the piece profiles three adoptees who have come out of “the fog,” or the denial of the trauma of being adopted. Not all adoptees have mixed or negative emotions, but many do.

They seek their birth parents but are lied to; they can’t obtain their original birth certificates; they’re told they should be happy they’re adopted when their feelings are complicated; they find the adoption system corrupt; they feel like they’re living a double life, estranged from the person they really are.

By focusing on the lives of Deanna, Joy, and Angela, the article also discusses the history and problems of three categories of adoption: invisible (or closed) adoptions, transracial adoptions, and international adoptions.

Ms. MacFarquhar writes:

“Coming out of the fog” means different things to different adoptees. It can mean realizing that the obscure, intermittent unhappiness or bewilderment you have felt since childhood is not a personality trait but something shared by others who are adopted. It can mean realizing that you were a good, hardworking child partly out of a need to prove that your parents were right to choose you, or a sense that it was your job to make your parents happy, or a fear that if you weren’t good your parents would give you away, like the first ones did. It can mean coming to feel that not knowing anything about the people whose bodies made yours is strange and disturbing. It can mean seeing that you and your parents were brought together not only by choice or Providence but by a vast, powerful, opaque system with its own history and purposes. Those who have come out of the fog say that doing so is not just disorienting but painful, and many think back longingly to the time before they had such thoughts.

Some adoptees dislike the idea of the fog, because it suggests that an adoptee who doesn’t feel the way that out-of-the-fog adoptees do must be deluded. And it’s true; many out-of-the-fog adoptees do believe that. They point out that a person can feel fine about their adoption for most of their life and then some event—pregnancy, the death of a parent—will reveal to them that they were not fine at all. But there are many others who reject this—who aren’t interested in searching for their birth parents, and think about their adoption only rarely in the course of their life.

I loved this article for many reasons. One was how much I learned. Though I have many friends who are adoptees and adoptive parents, and though I have tried to understand their experiences, I’ve remained fairly ignorant of the pain that some of them have suffered. Another reason was Ms. MacFarquhar’s compelling prose. The piece is long, but I was riveted from beginning to end because the author holds Deanna, Joy, and Angela with compassion and tells their stories directly. There’s no fluff. Every sentence is about honoring their lives and experiences.

Read the article

I’d love it if you read the article and joined our discussion on December 3. It’s our last discussion of the year. If you’re interested, this is how things will go:

  • This week, we’ll read the article

  • Next week, we’ll annotate the article as a group and share our first impressions

  • The following week, we’ll hear from Ms. MacFarquhar in a podcast interview

  • On Sunday, December 3, 2:00 - 3:30 pm PT, we’ll discuss the article on Zoom

Join our discussion on Dec. 3

If this will be your first time participating in Article Club, I’m 100% sure you’ll find that you’ll feel welcome. We’re a kind, thoughtful reading community. Feel free to reach out with all of your questions.

Also exciting, as with all Article Club monthly selections, the author will be participating in the festivities, recording a podcast episode for your listening pleasure. Ms. MacFarquhar has been a staff writer at The New Yorker since 1998. She has written about child-protective services, the battered-women’s movement, dementia, and hospice care, and her Profile subjects have included Barack Obama, Noam Chomsky, and David Chang, among many others. She is the author of Strangers Drowning: Impossible Idealism, Drastic Choices, and the Urge to Help. Before joining the magazine, she was a senior editor at Lingua Franca and an advisory editor at The Paris Review, and wrote for Artforum, The Nation, The New Republic, the Times Book Review, Slate, and other publications. She has received two Front Page Awards from the Newswomen’s Club of New York and the Johnson & Johnson Excellence in Media Award. Her writing has appeared in The Best American Political Writing and The Best American Food Writing.

So what do you think? Interested in reading the article and joining our discussion this month? Hope so! If you’re still a maybe, here are a few questions for you. If you’re a yes to one or more of them, you‘re a great candidate.

  • Are you an adoptee or an adoptive parent?

  • Or, Are you friends with an adoptee or adoptive parent and want to learn more about their experiences?

  • Do you find yourself mostly ignorant about our country’s adoption system and want to build your empathy?

Sign up for the discussion on Dec. 3

Here are my highlights and annotations of the article’s first page.

Thank you for reading this week’s issue. Hope you liked it. 😀

To our 3 new subscribers — Cable, Gerhard, and Raquel — I hope you find the newsletter a solid addition to your email inbox. To our long-time subscribers (Harry! Henri! Henry!), you’re pretty great, too. Loyal reader Lena, thank you for sharing the newsletter and getting the word out.

If you like Article Club, please help it grow. I really appreciate your support. Here are two ways you can help out:

❤️ Become a paid subscriber, like Arlene (thank you). If you’ve subscribed for free for a long time, and you appreciate the articles and author interviews, or if you’ve joined one or more discussions, I encourage you to take the leap. You’ll join an esteemed group of readers who value the mission of Article Club. Plus you’ll receive surprise perks and prizes. It’s $5 a month or $36 a year.

📬 Invite your friends to subscribe. Know someone who’s kind, thoughtful, and loves to read? I’d love it if you encouraged them to subscribe. Word of mouth is by far the best way to strengthen our reading community. Thank you for spreading the word.

Share Article Club

On the other hand, if you no longer want to receive this newsletter, please feel free to unsubscribe. See you next Thursday at 9:10 am PT.

#417: Scams

Two scam artists and the schemes they concocted

Welcome, new subscribers, and welcome back, loyal readers! I’m happy you’re here.

Today’s issue is about scams. Nobody likes being scammed. That’s for sure. But reading about a good scam? That’s different. What is about scams that allures and captivates us? For me, it’s knowing that unless I keep my wits about me, I’m a gullible target. (Ask me about the time I almost agreed to pay for a “free” Steinway grand piano offered by a recent widower in Oklahoma.)

I think you’ll enjoy this week’s articles. There are just two this time, so I challenge you to try both. They include:

  • a warning not to use Zelle to pay for your $31,500 new swimming pool

  • a man who thinks you can live forever (hint: don’t eat solid food)

Do you have a good scam story to share? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.

Leave a comment

1️⃣ The Great Zelle Pool Scam

The moral of this story is never get a pool, and if you do, it’s best not to pay by Zelle. Even the idea of having a pool “made me feel a little bit like an asshole to be honest,” David Friedman writes in this hilarious article. “But what is life if not a long march toward losing all your morals?”

After getting over the shame of it all, Mr. Friedman and his wife hire a man named Gary Kruglitz, owner of Royal Palace Pools and Spas. From the beginning, something is off about Gary. Like many contractors, he’s often not responsive. His communication is laconic and intermittent. Mr. Friedman writes:

I wouldn't say Gary is perplexed by this modern world we find ourselves living in as much as he might not be aware it exists. Sometimes when you talk to him, he’ll look up from his papers, turn in your direction, and blink, like a bird that has heard something in the underbrush.

Most distressing, there are long delays. Months pass. So when Gary finally replies and says he’s ready to dig the pool, Mr. Friedman and his wife are eager. So eager, in fact, that they don’t question Gary when he says that he wants the $31,500 paid via Zelle, sent in several daily installments. The rest of this caper, I’ll let you read!

By Devin Friedman • Business Insider • 20 min

Read the article

2️⃣ The Man Who Thinks He Can Live Forever

Bryan Johnson is a 46-year-old millionaire who lives in Venice, California, and believes he is going to live forever. He has a system he says is working for him. It includes swallowing 111 pills a day, not eating solid food, always sleeping alone, shooting red light into his scalp, and analyzing his erections and samples of his stool. So far, Mr. Johnson is happy with his results: His doctor says he has the bones of a 30-year-old and the heart of a 37-year-old. But more can be done, of course. He’s seeking the “next evolution of being human.” Other medical experts, on the other hand, call him “pale” and find his claims of everlasting life delusional. “I don’t really care what people in our time and place think of me,” Mr. Johnson says. “I really care about what the 25th century thinks.”

By Charlotte Alter • Time • 21 mins

Read the article

Thank you for reading this week’s issue. Hope you liked it. 😀

To our 5 new subscribers — including Gee, Raffaello, and Guido — I hope you find the newsletter a solid addition to your email inbox. To our long-time subscribers (Sara! Sarah! Saara!), you’re pretty great, too. Loyal reader Kevin, thank you for sharing the newsletter and getting the word out.

If you like Article Club, please help it grow. I really appreciate your support. Here are two ways you can help out:

📬 Invite your friends to subscribe. Know someone who’s kind, thoughtful, and loves to read? I’d love it if you encouraged them to subscribe. Word of mouth is by far the best way to strengthen our reading community. Thank you for spreading the word.

Share Article Club

❤️ Become a paid subscriber, like Nina just did (thank you!). I’m biased, but I personally think it’s worth it, if you can afford it. You’ll join an esteemed group of readers who value Article Club. Plus you’ll gain access to our monthly discussions, our monthly quiet reading hours, and my personal audio letters from me to you. It’s $5 a month or $36 a year.

On the other hand, if you no longer want to receive this newsletter, please feel free to unsubscribe. See you next Thursday at 9:10 am PT.