#219: Spaces Without White People

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Happy Thursday, Loyal Readers! Today’s issue is two parts race, two parts economics. This week’s lead article, which I highly recommend, focuses on why people of color need and deserve their own spaces, separate from white people. The second piece discusses why some white people become radicalized into far-right ideologies and what can be done to change their beliefs.

If those two articles don’t interest you, and if you’re thinking of buying a home, especially in the Bay Area, check out the last two articles, which will confirm that it’s pretty much impossible, and how maybe it shouldn’t be a goal in the first place, particularly if you’re a millennial. Please enjoy!

+ It’s time: Highlighter Happy Hour #12 is coming soon! Join me and ~50+ fellow loyal readers at Room 389 on Thursday, December 5, beginning at 5:30 pm. It would be great to see you there! Please lock in the date and secure your free ticket now. (Prize if you do.)

Spaces Without White People

In mixed-race spaces, according to Ijeoma Oluo, white people cause harm by centering their voices, controlling the discourse, and protecting their comfort. That’s why people of color need spaces distinct from white people. In this outstanding essay, Kelsey Blackwell explains the healing that comes from meeting in racial affinity. She writes:

We need places in which we can gather and be free from the mainstream stereotypes and marginalization that permeate every other societal space we occupy. We need spaces where we can be our authentic selves without white people’s judgment and insecurity muzzling that expression. We need spaces where we can simply be—where we can get off the treadmill of making white people comfortable and finally realize just how tired we are.

Later in the piece, Ms. Blackwell challenges the argument that affinity spaces prevent opportunities for inclusion. She cautions white people from assuming that integration is the ultimate goal. Even at their best, mixed-race spaces are “engineered” — awkward, fake, and harmful. (20 min)

+ Want to read this article later? Save it to Pocket. It won’t get lost that way!

No Longer A Nazi: Making Amends For A Life Of Far-Right Radicalism

From the time she was 15 to the time she turned 20, Shannon Foley Martinez was a skinhead. She attended Klan rallies, dated neo-Nazis, and prepared herself for race war. Then a teacher helped her out of her hate. Since then, Ms. Martinez has worked to deradicalize white nationalists and members of hate groups. Along the way, she’s found that most radicals suffer from longstanding, unhealed trauma, and that the only pathway to transformation is through emotion, not ideology. (16 min)

Charli, who belongs to loyal reader Eva, reads The Highlighter on Sunday mornings with her favorite warm beverage. Want your pet to appear in The Highlighter? hltr.co/pets

Charli, who belongs to loyal reader Eva, reads The Highlighter on Sunday mornings with her favorite warm beverage. Want your pet to appear in The Highlighter? hltr.co/pets


Gimme Shelter: Living In The Bay Area

In 2016, the year of the Ghost Ship fire, investigative reporter Wes Enzinna lived in a 32-square-foot shack in West Oakland. A 33-year-old transplant from New York, Mr. Enzinna clearly describes the challenges of living in the Bay Area and the intractable gaps between the rich and the poor. But in his discussion of gentrification, he doesn’t mention his race, focusing instead on his working-class background. Given the length of this otherwise excellent piece, it’s a curious omission. (37 min)

+ If you read last week’s lead article, also from Harper’s Magazine, open this one in a new browser to avoid the paywall. Or subscribe!

American Dream, American Nightmare: The Obsession With Homeownership

Now that I (partly) own a home, I have opinions about homeownership. For instance: I like it. But for many millennials, buying a home is untenable, undesirable, and no longer associated with the American dream. If you’re paralyzed with debt, not planning on having kids, and worried about climate change, you may find homeownership “boring” and “mundane.” You might connect with 35-year-old Erik, who said, “I like that my life isn’t following a set pattern.” (20 min)

+ Reader Annotations: Last week’s lead article, “Men At Work,” caused a stir. VIP Michele wrote, “Holy moly! It’s incredible the lengths people will go to to avoid doing the real work of self- reflection and connecting themselves to a larger picture toward systemic change.” Loyal reader Lisa wrote, “Ooof, the Evryman piece was hard to read. And so hilarious in places. And sad.”

On “The Porch Pirate of Potrero Hill,” loyal reader Sophie wrote, “I used to live on Potrero Hill right around the time of the events surrounding Ms. Fairley. My roommates and I had NextDoor accounts and we had a lot of thoughts and feelings about how our neighbors characterized other residents and described the goings-on in the neighborhood. I think the article did an excellent job capturing the tone of the hill at that very moment in time.”

On “Dolly Parton’s America,” loyal reader Daniel wrote: “Being a life-long devotee of mid-20th-century country music, I was pleased to have my attention directed to the podcast regarding Dolly Parton. I would encourage you to reevaluate the label “abusive” as a descriptor of Porter Wagoner in the context of his work with Dolly Parton. It is easy, and perhaps satisfying, to view the on-stage/on-camera dynamic between Wagoner and Parton through a 21st century lens (as the contemporary journalist quoted on the podcast seems to have done). Indeed, hiring a female singer to be a “pretty little gal” on a TV show seems awkward (to say the least) by today’s standards, especially here in urban California. Viewed now, Wagoner certainly seems patronizing, and he appears to play into gender roles which were then much more mainstream. Regarding Parton’s departure from the Porter Wagoner Show, as Parton herself explains, it was understandable that Wagoner would be frustrated to lose his top protégé. Parton also concedes that the show belonged to Wagoner — it was his show and she was, in fact, hired to be something which, ultimately, she did not want to be. In the podcast, Wagoner seems to be depicted as something akin to the folkloric Rumpelstiltskin; Parton herself seems much more aware and magnanimous.”

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Michele, Lisa, Sophie, and Daniel. I invite all of you to hit reply and tell me what you think! It pushes me and improves our reading community.

Must yet another issue of The Highlighter come to an end? It must. But there will be another one soon. In the meantime, use the thumbs below to tell me what you thought. Also, let’s please welcome this week’s 3 new subscribers, including Wade and Jeannette. I hope that you find the newsletter a welcome addition to your Thursday email inbox.

If you like The Highlighter, please help it grow and get better. I appreciate your support. Here are a few ways you can help:

  • Forward this issue to a friend and urge them to subscribe,

  • Show your appreciation by buying me a coffee — thank you, Jamie and Erin, for your coffees last week,

  • Become the 21st esteemed VIP member, support the newsletter’s growth, and collect gobs of my undying support.

On the other hand, if receiving this newsletter adds to your guilt that you’re not reading enough, please unsubscribe. See you next Thursday, for a truncated Thanksgiving issue, at 9:10 am.

#218: Men At Work

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Sorry, Loyal Readers: Today’s issue unfortunately does not highlight the early-’80s Australian rock band that brought us the megahits “Down Under” and “Who Can It Be Now?” But this week’s lead article, which focuses on one (disturbing) approach to mitigate toxic masculinity, is outstanding, and I highly encourage you to carve out 41 minutes of your week to give the article your attention.

If you’ve had enough of men, feel free to enjoy pieces on gentrification and surveillance, bubble tea and identity, and Dolly Parton and magnificence.

And one more thing (in case I haven’t made this abundantly clear): Thank you very much for reading my newsletter. I appreciate that we’re building a strong community that believes in reading, reflecting, and connecting.

+ Question of the Week: When’s your favorite time of the week to read The Highlighter? Hit reply and let me know!

Men at Work

If you identify as a man, and you’re feeling despondent or purposeless, or you’re exhibiting signs of toxic masculinity, maybe it’s time for a retreat in the woods, away from your friends and family, where you and 50 (white) strangers can participate in “manhood-confirming adventures,” including holotropic breathwork and anger ceremonies.

No, I’m not a proponent of this behavior. But we know that men are hurting. They make up 79% of suicides and 80% of violent crime, and their life expectancy continues to decline.

That’s why Evryman and other men-centered self-help organizations have become increasingly popular. They promise a “new masculinity” by supporting men to connect with their feelings and build emotional intelligence. But Barrett Swanson wonders whether this approach does anything to ameliorate the structural causes of men’s malaise. (41 min)

+ Want to save this article to read later? Click here and save it to Pocket, which lets you read on any device, anytime. (I use Pocket to make this newsletter.) Let me know if you try it out!

+ Read more about toxic masculinity in Issues #111, #157, and #192.

The Porch Pirate of Potrero Hill

At first glance, this is a story of a woman who steals Amazon packages from stoops in San Francisco. But add in racism, gentrification, white liberals, economic inequity, and private surveillance, and you get a complex, multilayered case study that reveals our frayed social bonds and our inability to move past villain-victim, either-or thinking and toward resolution and reconciliation. (38 min)

+ Big thanks to loyal reader Christine for sending me this piece! Want to nominate an article?

How Bubble Tea Became a Complicated Symbol of Asian American Identity

No, I’m not (currently) a diehard aficionado of bubble tea, but my goddaughter Athena is, and so is everyone else. You are, too, right? Just when I thought this article was going to stick to explaining the history and popularity of boba, it hit overdrive and took off — exploring issues of nostalgia, Asian American identity, and the commodification of culture. The writing is out there at times, but overall, I appreciated gaining insight on boba’s impact. (Maybe now I’ll become a connoisseur.) (22 min)

Dolly Parton’s America: “I Will Always Leave You”

Looking for some badassery this week? Here’s some Dolly Parton for you. This inspiring podcast episode about Ms. Parton’s rise to fame is worth your listen, even if you’re not a country music fan. You’ll learn how Ms. Parton left abusive Porter Wagoner to become a megastar, plus how she wrote “Jolene” and “I Will Always Love You” the same night. If that’s not enough, there’s the back story of Whitney Houston’s version of the song, too. (55 min)

Where did today’s newsletter go? 😢 Don’t be devastated: Another one is coming soon. In the meantime, use the thumbs below to tell me what you thought. Also, let’s please welcome this week’s four new subscribers, including Meranda, Tom, and Tiffany. I hope that you find the newsletter a welcome addition to your Thursday email inbox.

If you like The Highlighter, please help it grow and get better. I appreciate your support. Here are a few ways you can help:

On the other hand, if you’ve tried to find time in your life to read, but it’s just not happening anytime soon, please unsubscribe. See you next Thursday at 9:10 am!

#217: Samantha, White Nationalist

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Happy Thursday, loyal readers, and thank you for reading this week’s issue of The Highlighter. Today’s edition focuses on race and health. The first two articles — a profile of a white nationalist and an account of the Crazy Horse memorial — offer well-written portrayals of the dark and complex contours of American culture. They’re both worthy of your time. If you’re more interested in food and health, you’ll enjoy pieces on the history of cooking and the dangers of sugary beverages. Go ahead: It’s time to read!

+ Your generous responses to last month’s Loyal Reader Survey confirmed the strength of our reading community. You are serious, dedicated readers who appreciate well-written, thought-provoking articles on race, education, and culture. In addition, you value that the articles come from a variety of publications and provide perspectives you wouldn’t typically come across. Most important, you believe that reading helps us learn about our world, builds our empathy, and makes us better people. I believe that, too. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts. Over the next few weeks, I’ll let you know my next steps for the newsletter based on your suggestions.

+ Question of the Week: Which article has most impacted you this year, and why? Email me or leave me a voicemail.

Samantha, White Nationalist

Before Samantha joined the alt-right and became a white nationalist, she grew up in New Jersey and Florida, worked at Chipotle, and volunteered for the Obama campaign. Then Samantha met Richie, who cooked and danced and played the guitar. She fell in love. At first it didn’t matter that Richie quoted 4chan and made anti-Semitic remarks. But when he began arguing for racial purification and announced, “I’m a fascist,” that was too much. Samantha left Richie — that is, until she decided to look into some of his beliefs, to find out where he had gone wrong. Five days later, after watching YouTube videos and reading articles online, Samantha changed her mind: She wanted to become an advocate for the white race, too.

In this excellent chapter from Antisocial, Andrew Marantz (#115, #134) emphasizes that “there is no formula that can predict exactly who will succumb to fascism and who will not.” He adds: “We would like to imagine that, in the current year, the United States has developed a moral vocabulary that is robust and widespread enough to inoculate almost all of us against raw bigotry and malign propaganda. We would like to imagine that, but it would be wishful thinking.” (35 min)

Who Speaks for Crazy Horse?

Down the highway road from Mt. Rushmore, in the Black Hills of South Dakota, the world’s largest monument commemorates the life of Tasunke Witko, best known as Crazy Horse. But the reality is complicated and controversial. In this outstanding article, Brooke Jarvis tells the story of the memorial, arguing that “sites of theft and genocide have become monuments to patriotism, a symbol of resistance has become a source of revenue, and old stories of broken promises and appropriation recur.” (25 min)

The Instant Pot Understands The History Of Cooking As Women’s Labor

Truth is elusive in this challenging time of division, but one thing remains for certain: If you own an Instant Pot, you love it. So does food writer Bee Wilson, who argues that few kitchen appliances respect women as primary food preparers. At the root is “our collective failure to see the work of cooking as something important, and skilled, and worthy of our respect.” Unless, of course, it’s out at a restaurant, and the chef is a man. (23 min)

+ Want more from Ms. Wilson? Here and here!

The All-Out War On Sugary Beverages

Given my love of my mom’s cookies, I’ll never avoid sugar altogether. But arguably the best health decision I’ve ever made was when I decided, nearly 20 years ago, to stop drinking Coca-Cola cold turkey. Therefore it makes me happy that more and more cities and countries around the world are taxing sugary beverages. The jury is out about whether these efforts will lead to decreases in diabetes, heart disease, and obesity, but it’s a step in the right direction. (18 min)

+ Fruit juice has a lot of sugar, too. So do smoothies.

There’s no more of this week’s newsletter. 😢 Don’t be forlorn: Another one is coming very soon. In the meantime, use the thumbs below to tell me what you thought. Also, let’s please welcome this week’s four new subscribers, including Dave, Mara, and Ray. I hope that you find the newsletter a welcome addition to your Thursday email inbox.

If you like The Highlighter, please help it grow and get better. I appreciate your support. Here are a few ways you can help:

On the other hand, if you’ve discovered that email just isn’t your thing, please unsubscribe. See you next Thursday at 9:10 am!

#216: The Apology Letter

In the years after killing a man, John J. Lennon felt remorse and wanted to express his sorrow to his victim’s family. But his lawyer and priest told him no. It’s never a good idea to say you’re sorry. In this first-person essay, Mr. Lennon describes his process of exploring his guilt and making amends for the crime he committed. It’s not a simple, easy road. Only when he discovers writing — first through a creative writing program, and then through New York’s Apology Letter Bank — does Mr. Lennon truly consider his audience, deepen his introspection, and take responsibility for his actions.

#215: Walking While Black

Growing up in Jamaica, Garnette Cadogan loved to walk. The streets, filled with adventure, offered safety from his abusive stepfather. He writes, “Unlike at home, I could be myself without fear of bodily harm. Walking became so regular and familiar that the way home became home.”

When Mr. Cadogan moves to New Orleans to attend college, however, his love for walking quickly changes. People cross the street when he approaches; white women clutch their bags; young white men trade a nervous hello for safety. “What no one had told me was that I was the one who would be considered a threat,” he writes. After run-ins with the police, Mr. Cardogan finds himself thickening his accent, donning khakis, and employing other cop-proof survival tactics.

But years later, when Mr. Cadogan moves to New York — ostensibly a walker’s paradise — even those efforts, which tear at his dignity, are not enough. He writes, “Walking—the simple, monotonous act of placing one foot before the other to prevent falling—turns out not to be so simple if you’re Black.”

#214: Las Marthas

At first glance, this outstanding article is about a fancy high-society debutante ball and pageant, in which young women dress up in expensive 100-pound dresses and announce their presence to the world via curtsy, while celebrating colonial times and the life of first lady Martha Washington.

But peel back the onion and you’ll discover complex twists and turns that are quintessentially American. Like how the pageant got started by upper-class white families but most of the girls now are Mexican American. Like how the dresses sometimes cost more than the per-capita income of Laredo. Like how the festival values unity and friendship in a town where ICE agents detain migrants and separate families.

You’ll also appreciate how author Jordan Kisner explores nepantla, a Nahuatl word that means “in-betweenness.” Ms. Kisner discusses the transition to womanhood, the commodification of beauty, the expectation of assimilation, the loss of heritage, the passing as white, and the assumption of straightness.

The Highlighter #213: The Next Word

Nobody who writes thinks writing is easy. So why not have a computer spare us the agony? Soon that will be possible. After all, we already have the chirpy Smart Reply, which suggests responses (e.g., “Great!” “You bet!” “Sure thing!”) and the creepy Smart Compose, which autocompletes sentences. Why wouldn’t full essays be next?

They are next, according to John Seabrook, who in this outstanding article clearly explains the history and ethics of machine learning and how current technology will put Alexa and Siri to shame. Be prepared to be creeped out, for sure; our demise as a species is nigh. But also savor the parts that remind us of the power of language to express our humanity.

The Highlighter #211: In School, On The Street

More than half of the students attending community colleges in California have experienced food insecurity within the past month. Sixty percent report struggling with housing insecurity over the past year. Despite free tuition, financial aid, Pell grants, and work-study programs, thousands of young people seeking higher education can’t handle the exorbitant price of housing in the Bay Area. Many are living in their cars, couch surfing, and worrying about their next meal.

The Highlighter #210: Donuts And The American Dream

Impervious to chains like Krispy Kreme and Dunkin’ Donuts, the donut industry in Los Angeles has remained open and profitable to new immigrants from Vietnam and Cambodia and Japan and Laos and Mexico and Guatemala and El Salvador. “Donuts are the soul food of a place that is often accused of lacking a soul,” David Samuels writes. “They are the sticky, messy, waist-expanding ying to the yang of Southern California’s sun-kissed beaches and taut-and-tanned infatuation with wellness.”